The star is starting to look at me

I still awake and watch television. The night is almost over. But, I just can't sleep tonight. What am I waiting for? No, I'm not waiting for something. I just don't want to miss a moment. Looking at the star makes me speechless. Oh my God! How beautiful they are.. Are they starting to look at me?

You're always going to mean something to me

Kesenduan

Malam terasa kelam dan sunyi kala hujan telah berhenti. Dingin merayap menatap meratap pada tubuh yang terbaring lemah. Meski berulang-kali mencoba bangkit, sakit masih kuat menancap dalam jiwa raga.

Perihnya hidup membuat langkah mudah terombang-ambing. Apalagi bila jiwa raga telah berkarat. Entah alur siapa yang benar. Pikiran seolah pergi jauh sementara aku hidup di sini sekarang. Bahkan meskipun tersadar, perasaan dipaksa dibawa entah ke mana.

Menjerit sendiri karena luka dirasakan oleh diri sendiri. Tak pantas lagi mengaku bahwa aku telah mengerti. Karena kenyataannya yang selalu ada selalu orang lain, bukan aku. Bungkamlah sudah mulut kala mata terbelalak melihat hidup yang ternyata tak pernah sesuai dengan apa yang telah diatur sendiri.

Kesenduan ini mengapa terasa seolah-olah begitu memilukan. Bagaimana jika orang yang membaca ini menyimpulkan sendiri bahwa aku begitu menyedihkan. Tapi masih sama, masih saja, aku tak peduli..

And The Night Ended Our Conversation

I see my cell phone. Yes, it's always here. And I see your name. Then I imagining your face when you smile or when you make a joke. Don't you know? Reading your text makes me feel like a crazy girl. You make me feel good everyday. Emmm, just sometimes. Because, you also make me feel bad mood. Tonight we talked many things. But the night want to end our conversation. Because he want us to meet with the next day. So, I would like to say good night and I hope you have sweet dreams in your sleep. 

Who cares?

"When I'm alone, all I want to do are listening music and sleeping. That's more interesting than talking to them. Sometimes, they talked bullshit. Their life isn't interesting to me. Who cares? But I live in their lives."

Wherever you go...

     

I want to be a part of you...

No matter how hard this life

I don't want to make a distance with you

All I want is beside you

Wherever you go

I love you more than you see

I wanna say it

But it's hard to say

so you don't know my feeling

It's hard to say

There are some words in my mind that aren’t easy to say. And in this hard time, I must say it. Because of this pain, this problem, this shit life, but I always can’t do it. I afraid if something bad happens.

This painful life makes everything feels cold. I just wanna say something to you, but I can’t. If I said it, you would understand with my mind. Then, you will not worry and sad again. But it’s hard to say.

What's happening?

I changed. You changed. She changed. He changed. They changed. We changed. This life changed. Everything changed for many reasons. I made some mistakes in the past. But, you too.  What we want to do now is doing the best for our future. Right? But, this life isn’t easy.

Tak Semudah Itu

      

     Ya, itu keputusan kamu, mau lanjut, berhenti, atau berjalan dengan ragu-ragu. Tapi, kenyataannya kamu berjalan dengan ragu-ragu. Hal yang memberatkan kami. Lebih baik berhenti secepatnya, tinggalkan barisan ini. Daripada nanti kamu mengkhianati kami, sudah terlihat jelas dari raut wajah serta perilakumu.

      Aku sudah mempertahankan kamu begitu lama. Tapi kamu masih saja sama. Sepertinya memang benar, jika dari awal sudah ragu, untuk selajutnya pun akan begitu. Mana semangatmu? Mana niatmu? Buktikan! Jangan hanya dimulut! Jangan hanya dibelakangku kamu menangis dan berani mengeluhkan hal yang seharusnya kami keluhkan karena kamu.

      Kamu adalah bagian dari kami yang kini kurelakan untuk pergi.